Putting Yourself Out There

4/24/11

For some singles, the most nerve racking, and challenging thing to do is to put yourself out there. I being one of them, Since I was child, and being brought up as a well mannered girl, into women, or might you call it, Lady, I was taught never to chase boys. I was told to wait for the boys to come to you. Let them chase you for awhile, you never want to look like a dog, following after little boys. But nowadays, it’s a whole new ball game. Women now run the bases along with men. Women not only fry the bacon but bring it home, and in many cases not only in abundance but in high fashion. And because of that, it leaves girls like me who prefer the old fashion way stuck between trying to figure out, how to play this game, though it goes against everything they feel is right. Now some may say, that I just need to chill out, and live a little. And as time goes by I have come to see the downgrade in the value of women which is really disheartening and discouraging, but at the same time, I find wisdom in adapting to this modern way to a certain extent. I think it vital to hold on to my morals and as some may say, old fashion style of proper courtship, but also its imperative to know how to play the game of cats and dog and actually get dirty and play it. Now understand I don’t mean to endorse backstabbing, and home wrecking, style of getting a man, but knowing how to gracefully entice the opposite sex but in a tasteful yet still respectful manner that doesn’t make you compromise your values. First things first, We gotta stop believing that there is only one way to do things. We gotta stop feeling like it should ALWAYS be a man’s job to approach a girl. There is no harm in a girl approaching a man, if she knows how to do it in a way that’s not to bold, as to intimidate or deflate a man’s ego, but knowing how to relate to a man and leveling yourself to him in a way that compliments his being..Put yourself out there, and let him know you’re interested. Now if the guy gets in way over himself and over thinks of himself because of your approach, drop him. You didn’t put a ring on it and neither did he. It was just a test really to see what he was like. So we shouldn’t beat ourselves up thinking we did the unforgivable, and that we’ll now be labeled as “easy”. We’re not, and we never will be. We need to know that us being able to even approach someone is nothing to be ashamed of.  As long as we’re honest with ourselves and others, that’s what it’s all about, honesty.

I just put myself out there tonight while chatting with a guy on facebook. Was it sorta gutsy, yeah, but it was tasteful and not overbearing where I made it hard for him to breath. It was an enticing approach that was cute and curious but didn’t put me out there as desperate, (which I think is every girls nightmare, who is finding the courage to put themselves out there) After all I made him smile, and that’s definitely a good response. Now, is it gonna go anywhere? Who knows, maybe it will, maybe it won’t. The answer to that question lies in his favor.(Because I’m choosing to leave it there and let him run with it or not, I don’t really care) But even though the decision may be up to him I didn’t lose my pride in this at all. I simply walked thru a revolving door which either he or I can walk in and out of if we please. It’s comfortable, there’s no pressure or obligation. It’s a mere trial run and it’s ok if it doesn’t work. Our friendship will still abide and I know I can count on that. Maybe my move wouldn’t work in all cases but that’s why we, as the female, need to know to whom we are communicating with and know how to read what type of a guy he may be. In my case, my reading was right, and I know this guy is a honest, trustable dude that wouldn’t want to hurt me but also would be honest and fair with me also as I slyly made my move. Overall it was fun, and liberating for me. And no matter what the outcome, for now I’m not going to sweat it. We’re all humans and I know I’m just adding to the causeJ