My writing dilemna

                                                                                               11/17/10

I’m not even sure what to do anymore. I bought this computer with hopes of my writing situation improving drastically but it hasn’t. I was hoping that my creative juices would start flowing again and I would write like how I use to write when I was younger but it’s just not coming like how it used to. Maybe because back then, all I had was my dreams and I could elaborate and embellish them all day long. I wasn’t afraid to explore the unknown because that’s the whole addiction of it. The hopeful, adrenaline rush of so many possibilities right at the tips of my fingers was invigorating.  An exploration of the soul wasn’t scary because mine was brand new to the world and every emotion, experience, and situation it had to offer. Now as I’m trying to let the creative juices flow I’m stumped. And I fear to look inside the soul, or even try to dream again because of how cold the consequences of consideration, and hope which enables faith, inspiring courage, courage to wake up one day and fall in love. Without any sort of warning or caution a heart is given to another with hopes on top of the world, until one sequential day later, your heart, the very organ that sustains love, the reason of motivation for life, is broken, torn apart, embarrassed and empty, robbed of hope, pride and dignity. I’ll get over it someday but I guess that day is not today.;(